In the third edition of the Post Season Post you'll hear tales of an ex-Blacks experiences in the footy starved state up north, help with your burning issues (not those kind Kiza), find out what people have been up to since footy season finished, and answer the question on everyone's lips – Where in the world is Nicholas Brooks?

By Todd Ferguson (Blacks player 2005-2007)

 

The Blacks are the sort of club that always seem to punch above their weight, whether it be on the field where we can overcome more fancied opposition, or off the field where chain smoking red heads attract the attention of the Lara Bingle types, the Blacks have always been to me a club that finds a way when it appears all else is lost. It was this spirit of ingenuity and dedication that I reached deep for when I confronted the difficult task of wanting to celebrate the AFL grand final in a non-footy state.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love it up hereon the Gold Coast, the sun is warm enough to make Jesso wilt and there are more blondes than at a Nick Brooks tribute party. However, finding venues to cater for that special day in September was proving about as difficult as keeping up with Kempo on a prinny so I took matters into my own hands and decided to host.

 

Food was stocked up, beer was put on ice, Blacks jumper secured on my back and the expats started to flock in. The customary trip to the tab was made (it’s alright Scarlett, I didn’t need that money anyway) and whilst the temperature felt more like a footy trip or a night on the pavvy dance floor rather than a Melbourne spring, a suitable atmosphere was created to watch the big men fly. Having been a bit out of the loop with footy gossip this year (just look at my supercoach ‘results’) the game seemed to fly by. How pleasing it was to see this great game of ours and how it caters for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you look like an orc and have the ridiculous name of Chance, people will still hug and embrace you warmly. It doesn’t matter if you resemble the Goodyear blimp painted brown and gold, you can still play our game at the elite level and have a telling influence.

The spectacle in all of its majestic glory makes you sad to see the season end.

 

However, to look on the bright side, it was nice to be able to see a full game of footy but all good things had to come to an end and the final siren went and the shock that Hawthorn had won left everyone a bit quiet. I swear when I listened really closely I could hear Marto’s heart breaking. Once again I had to watch my nemesis Campbell Brown walk away with a trophy but the thrill of another grand final day could only make me think of one thing - Doesn’t it make you excited for preseason...

 

 

 

 

Dear Woolly,

 

Firstly, the club is big enough to handle two "Woollys". We have handled multiple Battens, Costellos, Beatons, Smiths, Kemptons and Brooks, over the years so I'm sure we will overcome this crisis. The key is a subtle adjustment to allow people to discern between the two of you. For instance, the three Battens at the club are all known as Batten but we tell them apart by certain prefixes such as Ninja Batten, Dougie Batten and Most Likely To End Up In Jail Batten. I recommend a similar adjustment to your name like Cotton Woolly, Woolly Mammoth or my personal favourite, Steel Woolly.

 

 

Kind regards,

 

Post Season Post

 

 

 

In a major lift to the Post Season Post's credibility, it seems that someone actually followed through with our recommendation of running the Melbourne Marathon (see Post Season Post Vol 1). And in a major lift to our pre-season conditioning Coach's heart, not only did they complete it, but they came within an Adam Ross kick of winning their age group.

 

Rohan Barraclough of U/19 and American Crew 07/08 Face Off Fame managed to run the 42.195 km in 3 hours and 33 minutes and finish second in his category. For the mathematically inclined of you, that roughly translates to running a kilometre every 5 minutes. For those more leisurely inclined, Rohan ran the equivalent of 13 laps of Princess Park on Sunday morning before Video Hits finished.

 

Rohan's effort was made all the more impressive considering his team mates were all recovering from their footy trip while he trotted into the MCG. Talking exclusively to Post Season Post Rohan stated he could have gone faster but "cramping calves were the thing holding me back. And really, the only thing I should be putting my knee through is surgery, not 42.195 km of man against bitumen. But overall, I'd have to say it was easier than I thought".

 

Good luck beating that at Pre-season Kempo. Seems we have a new sheriff in town.

 

One man who was conspicuous in his absence at the Blacks Presentation Night some weeks back was Blacks very own King of the Red Carpet, Nicholas "Richard Wilkins" Brooks. As a man who has single-handedly arrested the gender balance at many a Blacks Function and made the Herald Sun Social Pages his own, Nick's non-attendance had set tongues wagging. So Post Season Post decided to investigate and find out exactly where in the world is Nick Brooks?

 

 

NB: Germany actually. It's nice to be in a place where prominent jaw lines are the rule rather than the exception.

 

 

NB: Great. Germany did wonders for Max Rooke's hamstring and after spending a few days here, I understand why. I can see Bavarian-Folk-Pump classes taking off at my local Fitness First centre.

 

 

NB: They were fine with it. Everything was looking strong when I left. The markets run themselves these days.

 

 

NB: Personal loan. But I made sure I got a fixed rate. I didn't want to be caught out when the Reserve Bank kept jacking up interest rates.

 

 

NB: It's not a holiday if I leave my head in Australia.

 

Nick Brooks, enjoying a stein in Germany.

Note: Despite popular belief, that stein is full size and not a midi. Objects appear smaller than they actually are when in the same foreground as Nick's chin.