2s

With in-form ruckman Simon “The Mule” Yule being pulled out of the team into the 1s at 9am Saturday, BLO(Big. Lukey. Oh)’s boys came into this game expecting a tough contest from the in-form ‘hoers, and they certainly got it. The magoos gave up a 3-goal lead at the first break, but having kicked with the wind in the second, went into the long break a goal up, with said wind in their sails.

 

With the sun shining at the Uni Main and the crowd building, Holty presented himself as the Duke of Edinburgh, dragging in everything that came towards him. Kicking against the wind, the Blacks managed to go into the last change up by only two points. BLO implored his troops to push that little bit harder, fight to the last meter, to the last minute. Timmy McCullagh did just that, continuing his good form, along with Lachy Crameri in the ruck most of the day.

 

The boys kicked away in the last, with Angus “Beef” Drysdale showing that he is not far off moving up a grade, Murf showing that he is getting very comfortable at this grade, and Wood-duck showing that, while he certainly does his best work on the dancefloor at the ball, he still knows how to play football.

 

	1QG	1QB	2QG	2QB	3QG	3QB	4QG	4QB	PTS
University Blacks	1	1	5	3	8	3	11	6	72
Old Ivanhoe	4	0	4	1	8	1	9	1	55

 

Goal Kickers: J. Crameri 2, A. Drysdale 2, T. McCullagh 2, N. Holt , S. Myers , J. Nettlefold , L. Dadswell , T. Brennan
Best Players: L. Crameri, N. Holt, T. McCullagh, A. Drysdale, J. Murfett, R. Wood

Goal Kickers: R. Gieschen 3, D. Steele 2, M. Lesko 2, N. Clarke , A. Diorietes
Best Players: R. Butler, I. Dawkins, D. Steele, R. Gieschen, A. Diorietes, N. Clarke

 

 

1s

Not to take anything away from the coach, assistant coach, magnet-man, water-boy and 22 players on the day, but at this point, I would like to take the majority, if not all, of the credit for this win. To quote the Black Bear last week:

 

Let’s arrive ready to play, and hunt from the start. Smother them in

Black. Don’t give them an inch or a sniff. Don’t even let them breathe.

 

And what did we do? Arrived ready. Hunted. Smothered. Withheld inches and sniffs. Asphyxiated.

 

It was a beautiful thing to watch. Huw Lacey did some special things, including a goal on the run from the back-quad of Ormond which wasn’t even spinning the right way to go through (and against the wind), but the best thing he did was tackle. Often, and with purpose.

 

Tom “The Tugboat” Howgate was amazing. When he runs it is like the whole world turns in the other direction, causing everyone else to tilt slightly. I have witnessed opposition players run towards him to apply a tackle, before being unnerved by the shadow of his jawline.

 

Tom “Prom King” Purcell ran so fast I went cross-eyed (yep), and the poor opposition kept trying to tackle him, but ended up just falling over 5m behind where he used to be. Simon “4 weeks for being Striking” Thomas played his best game for the year so far, while Tommy “rrruueeiiiiaaaiaiaiaighghghghgh” Napier was awesome and Dan “Dingo” Costello played like a man with a plan.

 

I really enjoyed watching the game. Let’s play like that again next time.

 

 

	1QG	1QB	2QG	2QB	3QG	3QB	4QG	4QB	PTS
University Blacks	5	4	9	5	12	6	14	7	91
Old Ivanhoe	3	8	3	11	5	17	6	20	56

 

Goal Kickers: H. Lacey 4, C. Richardson 3, J. Matthews 2, T. Bell , J. Gaylor , M. Bolton , C. Stevic , T. Napier
Best Players: T. Howgate, H. Lacey, T. Purcell, S. Thomas, T. Napier, D. Costello

Goal Kickers: A. Delmonte 4, N. Butler , C. Nichol
Best Players: E. Byrne, M. Mitris, S. Low, A. Baldwin, J. Gieschen, B. Harrison

 

 

The Ball

With the University Blacks winning everything but the Clubbies on Saturday, things were really set up for one hell of a ball. The trip out to Westside Events in West Melbourne (nay, Footscray) meant that everyone who had made the trek thought they should make the most of it.

 

The venue was industrial, and so were the sugar-levels in the drinks. At one stage I had so much glucose in my blood I went out to the car-park and did 560 push-ups just so I could relax.

 

There was so much sugar in the drinks that when Lionel Richie started playing Bolts was already dancing on the ceiling, which was weird because they were playing “All Night Long”. 

 

There was so much sugar in the drinks that Justin Crameri was last seen stumbling towards the banks of the Maribyrnong mumbling something about being so thirsty he could drink a river.

 

There was so much sugar in the drinks that Baz went to write Belinda a text message and ended up writing a 300 page rhyming treatise on how to apply string theory to sustainable football coaching in early 17th century Tibet.

 

There was so much sugar in the drinks that Flighty and Pitty had a three minute conversation in which they came to the realization that we are nothing more than a bunch of atoms randomly thrown together by fate, made of the very same atoms that were created during the beginning of the universe and we will all finally end up as a random bunch of atoms, thrown apart by decay until the final days of time, when gravity will force the entire universe to contract until it is infinitely small and infinitely dense, then expand and start all over again.

 

There was so much sugar in the drinks that Ed Ryan and Jesso had a three minute conversation which consisted of nothing but chortling. 

 

The dress-ups were outstanding, with Tom Purcell voted in as Prom King sporting a delectable orthodontic head-piece, joined by Millie Roberts as Prom Queen, sporting big hair. Very big hair.

 

At one stage in the night, Andy Cos decided that the band weren’t quite up to scratch, so he intimidated them off the stage and spun the decks himself, building the crowd into a dance frenzy! before being replaced again by the band.

 

In that moment of clarity we can all succumb to in the fifth straight hour of an all-you-can-drink-cocktail ball Tommy Angel, Levi Kalms and Scotty Myers thought it a good idea to invite all 4 busloads of ball goers back to their rental property for an after party. A frantic search for open bottle shops ensued while en route to the Royal Parade residence, resulting in 200 thirsty people arriving at a house without beer.

 

The “Buffalo Herd” theory ensued, where the weakest of the pack went home, leaving the remaining herd stronger as a whole when the beer did eventually arrive.

 

All-in-all a sweet after-party, made even better by the two housemates (who were home in bed when 4 busloads of their housemates’ closest friends rocked up, ate all their food, smoked all their tobacco, trashed their house, kept them up all night and stomped the newly planted lawn to mud) not being angry at all.