Following a week of incessant pestering from Mick “The Pest” Dwyer regarding his on-field prowess, everyone was expecting big things from the self-professed burly CHF. In business there is a saying ‘Under Promise, Over Deliver.’ This is a hard concept for a Stockbroker to grasp (see unfulfilled promises the majority of the population during the GFC), and has clearly been lost on “The Chest.” If it wasn’t for “Junktime Dwyer’s” junktime goal, the portly Sandgroper would have gone goalless. Mick, I am looking forward to a much more rounded performance in a fortnight’s time…and give those inside 50’s some air please-no true power forward is any good below their knees!

The game began at a frantic pace, with Busta Cap in yo ma’s a$$ and Smashed Crabs dominating the corridor with a fine mix of grunt and pin-point passing.   Peter Rowse opened the team’s goalkicking for a 2^nd week in a row, and Utility, The Chandler Highway, was everywhere. However the quarter belonged to the Echuca Euphemism, Fish 80, with his pack-busting reminiscent of his halcyon days in the 2006 B Reserve premiership team. Good to have you back Fish 80 – when’s Fish 74 coming down for a kick?

There were some strong forces emanating from deep in the forward line on Saturday, and although Martin had returned to the fray following his dominating 5 goal haul in Round 1, the first half clearly belonged to the rejuvenated, barbaric Rob Moffatt. Whether it was a strong contested mark, handball over the top, or set shot from 40, he did what all forward should do – he kicked goals. It was a dominant performance from the big man, and he will be a very handy addition to an already potent forward line this year. Whether he kicked 7 or 8 is irrelevant – I just hope he can sleep at night.

After a 10 minute lapse late in the 2^nd quarter, The Black’s Brigade went into the Sliced Oranges a comfortable 5 goals up, but copped what can only be described as a good-old fashioned spray from Linc the Sinc. Marc Woolnough watch out!

The spray did the trick, and the small, but attractive crowd were treated to a second half of razzle and candy selling. As Moff continued to mark strongly and convert, the 2^nd leg of the 2-studded attack, who was originally brought in as a decoy a la B Brownless circa 1989, stole the show in the 2^nd half with Ronnie Burns-esk roving (and finishing), penetrating conversions from outside the arc, and the crème de la saved till the end – a snap from the boundary in general play that reminded this writer of a young Damien Houlihan in the Black and White stripes.

Dowls dominated the backline with his pluck-a-mark antics - the only thing that can save Hey Hey from going the way of ‘ol yella. Patchy continued his All-Australian form in the ruck, Smash went bananas in the last quarter baulking and bouncing his way around the wing, and Edgy ran into the back of people very well.

The prize for most humorous has to go to The Troll though – his many attempts to kick a goal have provided his teammates with hours of entertainment since Saturday. I can only imagine what the rest of the year will bring. Brikka’s impersonation of a step-ladder was also a highlight.

A great effort all round, and a fine display from the Gypsie on how to give great back-chat to the mess-in-white and also the coach. Looking forward to those extra slabs for giving away multiple 25’s Gyp…make it Asahi all year.

And Gypsie, leave those left-foot snaps at goals to the experts.