The whole world was watching Elsternwick Park at 11.30 on Saturday morning, as Bazzle’s Two’s took on St Kevins. Unfortunately as the ball bounced down to start the game, The Black Bear was still waiting for the stain who parked his car in front of his driveway to finish hunting for bargains in the Smith St factory clearance outlets and come back and move it, so he could drive down the Nepean to support the boys. Obviously there was nowhere else to park. After leaving a note on the windscreen which read “I apologise for doing a wee on your door handle, but there was nowhere else to wee!” The Black Bear got a lift to the footy with some of the beautiful female Blacks supporters, including the Black Bearess. Talking about nail polish and high heels is not the best way to prepare yourself to watch Jimmy Fuller play football.

 

This was a game of two halves, broken up into quarters, much like most games, however when the wind is blowing in one particular direction at speeds that would have Helen Hunt running for cover, the difference between the first and third quarters, relative to the second and fourth, was quite extraordinary.

 

The first half was apparently quite good football, with the wind clearly the best player for St Kevins in the first, and the Blacks in the second. Andrew Torney was reminiscent of The Black Bear in his prime, kicking a monster 70m goal from mid-wing. Tom Napier banged home 5 sausage rolls in the second quarter, and would have kicked 6 if it wasn’t for Tom O’Halloran ignoring him, alone in the goal-square, before slewing his kick so far sideways, the boundary umpire had no choice but to stand erect, arms held wide like Christ The Redeemer overlooking Rio De Janeiro. 10 minutes later Wooly was heard saying “I still can’t believe he didn’t handball it.”

 

The third quarter provided a “Comedy of Errors” that would put Hansel and Derek to shame, with Napes marking strongly deep in the pocket, before passing across goal over D-Cos to Fortress, who decided to take a hanger on Daniel’s back, almost broke Dan’s head, dropped the mark, picked up the ball and kicked it to the opposition.

 

Corey Watts was fantastic all day, easily the nicest bloke on the field, while still getting plenty of kicks and doing the hard things that get noticed by the people that matter.

 

With a three goal lead coming home with the wind in the last quarter, several players might have forgotten what the job was, with D-Cos and Titties trying desperately to kick goals from the boundary, or anywhere else, and even Hamish Guthrie trying to get amongst it. Gutters did attempt a kick at goal, I think, but unfortunately the wind at his back was too strong and it went off his left foot and out of bounds instead.

 

Kizza “that’s not a target on my back” Prestige had the chance to cover himself in glory, taking a mark 35 out, straight in front, but 3 seconds after he took the mark, a St Kevins player who was clearly blown by a gust of wind charged into his back and gave away a 25m penalty. Kizza was unable to take the kick due to some Claret on his eye, so Fitzy came on and belted it through with ease. Jesso was heard arguing with the umpire that the blood rule was not required, Kizza is obviously not bleeding, because it’s not Black.

 

The game was definitely in the balance with 2 minutes left and the Blacks up by 7 goals, when Ed Hardy roved a loose ball in the goal square and kicked home the sealer. The poor guy had to run for 100m to get all the high-fives, and would have gone off for a rest if the siren hadn’t gone, allowing us all to get inside, out of the bloody wind!

 

Great work by the boys, there should now be plenty of belief in the group about our chances for the ultimate prize.

 

Make sure you get out to Elsternwick this Saturday from 11.30 to cheer the boys on, then join us at The Clyde Hotel, Carlton, for our celebrations afterwards.

 

Congratulations to Drysedale for single-handedly winning the Geelong and Districts Grand Final on the weekend, a remarkable achievement considering he was lining up at CHF for the Blacks.

 

UNI BLACKS      0.2       7.3       7.4       12.12-84

 

 

Goal Kickers: D. Gibbs, J. O''Keefe, H. McPherson, N. McArdle

Best Players: S. Ryan, J. O''Keefe, N. McArdle, J. Koutoumas, D. Makohon, L. McDonald

Goal Kickers: T. Napier 6, M. Battista, E. Hardy, A. Jesse, A. Torney, D. Fitzpatrick, T. O''Halloran

Best Players: M. Battista, T. Napier, M. Thompson, A. Torney, C. WATTS, J. Fuller